"Rejoice in the things that are present; all else is beyond thee." -Montaigne

Today my challenge to myself is to live in the present moment.

I spent a few minutes this morning worrying about my schedule today at work. I know I have set myself up for some stress by working some patients into my schedule on a day when I am already covering for one of the physicians. In the past, days like this have sometimes turned out to be nightmarish, with me kicking myself countlessly all day for doing this to myself.

But today is going to be different.

I was thinking to myself why I worry about days with a full schedule. Do I not think I can handle it? I've been practicing for nine years. I know I have the skills to get everything done. Do I think patients will be mad if I'm running behind and they have to wait? I don't know what they're thinking. Why would I waste mental effort worrying about what they might be thinking, or might not be thinking? Whatever it is, I can't change it, either. If they're mad, they're mad...they can always reschedule, or go somewhere else. I think most people go to Dr's appts these days and expect to wait, at least a little bit. Plenty of the physicians I work with run late, all the time, and in the year I've been with this company there have been very few waiting room melt-downs. Plus, if I'm crabby that almost assures that the patients will be crabby back, too. Am I worried I'd get in trouble with my boss or the other doctors if a patient complained about me? I'm sure lots of other clinicians run late, and I'm sure that my boss wouldn't fire me over one day! Am I worried I won't get to take a lunch? I'm sure there will be a point during the day where I can eat something. And it's Friday! How bad can it be? :)

At the end of the day, anything can happen. There's always the possibility it could be the first full day that went seamlessly. Half my patients might not even show up. The typically crabby patients might be in excellent moods. I can't change any of that. But I can change how I react to it. It won't help my patients if I act all stressed out and crabby when I work with them, just because I'm stressed. They are all coming to me to help them. I could worry myself to death over what MIGHT happen, instead of just letting things happen and dealing with them as they come, on a minute to minute basis. I've actually stopped looking at my schedule so that I don't build up any expectations of what may or may not happen, and get stressed out, and I've found that actually works better for me. That way the patients all come as they're scheduled and then each is like a surprise. I won't have wasted time dreading certain patients or how full my schedule is.

We'll see how today goes.